Monday, October 17, 2016

what happened that day

It was big, it was scary and I didn't want to Know more, I stumbled behind a nearby building I was sure that enormous spider wouldn't find me there,just that that moment a huge chunk of the building that I was standing behind was ripped of like a toy train been throne from its tracks by a very angry or maybe a very playful toddler, the spider stared at me with cold icy eyes it screeched and then it lunged toward me. I felt petrified. I couldn't move! Then, I remembered could I be dreaming? Then I pinched my arm.                

3 comments:

  1. Hi Briar,
    What a suspense filled piece of writing! I absolutely love the simile about the toy train - it really helped me to picture the scene. You have also used excellent vocabulary such as 'lunged' and 'petrified'. Don't forget that titles need to have capitals at the beginning, and we need your name in the title so we can acknowledge the author of this amazing work.
    Well done Briar, a brilliant effort.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Briar,
    I liked how you used that simile and how you described the 'cold icy eyes'. Keep up the good work.
    Jack :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awesome!! That was the best writing I've ever read. you really challenged your self like mad with your vocabulary. It looks like you are working on writing quality not quantity. We are doing the same.

    ReplyDelete