Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Toa

I  gingerly walked into the stinky, horrible and yuck house. However it was a nightmare that I       experienced as I watched blood drip of the top of the roof onto my sweater. I discovered it was a beast that had done this so I got the men to search the house just encase it was still in there. They went straight in and found yellow slime in the room of the owner then I heard a shout and by the time I could turn around they were gone so I called the police and waited what I saw was remarkable.

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2 comments:

  1. kimiaOctober 25, 2016 at 4:36 PM

    hi Toa,
    I really like your story and how spooky it is.

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  2. Sarah-Anne RichesOctober 30, 2016 at 7:44 PM

    Toa, what a great imagination you have! I like how you created the scene by having blood drip onto your sweater from above - very creepy! Your last sentence is very long. It could be broken up unto four separate sentences which would help the reader to make sense of the story, and also make it more dramatic! Well dont for using all the prompt words correctly.
    Miss R.

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